How often do you deal with power struggles at home

Claire Lerner, child psychologist and therapist, nailed it! She wrote: “For the vast majority of the families I see each year, the root cause of the challenge for which they are seeking consultation is an absence of limits and the power struggles that flourish in this void. That is what is making everyone miserable— parents and children. It is resulting in less, not more, emotional regulation (for kids and parents!)”

Pre-school teachers biggest challenge

With over 27 years of experience in dealing with children at ICCC, we can only add that the absence of limits is making not only children and parents miserable, but teachers too. There is nothing more time and energy consuming for teachers than working with children who expect no less than having things their way. Also, nothing requires more skills and experience.

Are you setting healthy limits for your toddler

Many parents fail to set important limits for their child. This is often done with the best of intentions. Examples are extending bedtime because the child wants yet one more bedtime story. Or allowing more screen time. Or buying a new toy they badly want. We bend our own rules because our child is upset. We often don’t realize that by doing this we lay the ground for yet more power struggles. What happens is we send the child the message that their strategy is working. They will eventually get what they want. So we shouldn’t be surprised that they keep acting like this. They even become more resourceful and energetic in applying these strategies to achieve their objective. 

Expert advice

There is numerous advice out there about what parents can do to set limits in a healthy and respectful way for children. We can recommend two great blogs by Claire Lerner and Allison Shafer . Both are Adlerian psychologists and advocates for positive psychology in which the positive discipline approach is rooted. You can find useful articles and resources about dealing with challenging behavior in both blogs.

Positive discipline at ICCC

At ICCC our team of teachers started training in the positive discipline approach in 2024. We are happy to see so many positive changes already happening. We hope we will soon be able to deal confidently with a wide range of discipline challenges in our preschool.

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