How Often Do You Deal with Power Struggles at Home?
Claire Lerner, child psychologist and therapist, nailed it when she said that when parents fail to set boundaries they actually fail to teach children important emotional skills. This opens the door for more power struggles and other unproductive behavior.
“For the vast majority of the families I see each year, *the root cause of the challenge for which they are seeking consultation is an absence of limits and the power struggles that flourish in this void. That is what is making everyone miserable—parents and children. It is resulting in less, not more, emotional regulation (for kids and parents!)”
Pre-School Teachers’ Biggest Challenge
With over 27 years of experience as an international preschool and kindergarten, at ICCC we find that the absence of limits not only makes children and parents miserable—it poses many challenges for teachers too. There’s nothing more time- and energy-consuming than working with children who expect everything their way because this is how things are at home. Managing these power struggles demands skill, patience, and experience.
Are You Setting Healthy Limits for Your Toddler?
Many parents, with the best intentions, inadvertently reinforce power struggles by bending rules when their child protests. Examples include:
Extending bedtime for “just one more story.”
Allowing extra screen time.
Buying a toy they really want.
By giving in, we teach children that persistence pays off—and power struggles only escalate.
Expert Advice
Numerous resources offer practical strategies for setting respectful, healthy limits. Two excellent Adlerian-psychology-based blogs are:
Claire Lerner’s Challenging Behaviors: lernerchilddevelopment.com/challenging-behaviors
Allison Schafer’s Blog: alysonschafer.com/blog
Both emphasize positive discipline approaches and provide articles and tools for dealing with challenging behavior.
Positive Discipline at ICCC
In 2024, our teaching team began training in the positive discipline approach. We’re already seeing positive changes and look forward to confidently addressing a wide range of discipline challenges in our preschool.
Photo by Freepik (www.freepik.com)
Snezhana Daneva is a Director at ICCC since September 2010. She gained experience in teaching, marketing and client relations, as well as cultural diplomacy and regional project management after a diverse career at the British Council in Bulgaria and in the UK. She worked as a volunteer in not-for-profit organizations related to child birth and child care.
Snezhana has MA in Education Management and MA in English and American Studies from Sofia University, and Management Certificate and Diploma from Open University, UK. Her recent Education Management degree thesis focused on children’s social-emotional development in the early years, comparing government standards and practice in Bulgaria and in the United Kingdom.