How Often Do You Deal with Power Struggles at Home?
Claire Lerner, child psychologist and therapist, nailed it!
“For the vast majority of the families I see each year, *the root cause of the challenge for which they are seeking consultation is an absence of limits and the power struggles that flourish in this void. That is what is making everyone miserable—parents and children. It is resulting in less, not more, emotional regulation (for kids and parents!)”
Pre-School Teachers’ Biggest Challenge
With over 27 years of experience at ICCC, we’ve found that the absence of limits doesn’t just make children and parents miserable—it exhausts teachers too. There’s nothing more time- and energy-consuming than working with children who expect everything their way. Managing these power struggles demands skill, patience, and experience.
Are You Setting Healthy Limits for Your Toddler?
Many parents, with the best intentions, inadvertently reinforce power struggles by bending rules when their child protests. Examples include:
Extending bedtime for “just one more story.”
Allowing extra screen time.
Buying a toy they really want.
By giving in, we teach children that persistence pays off—and power struggles only escalate.
Expert Advice
Numerous resources offer practical strategies for setting respectful, healthy limits. Two excellent Adlerian-psychology-based blogs are:
Claire Lerner’s Challenging Behaviors: lernerchilddevelopment.com/challenging-behaviors
Allison Schafer’s Blog: alysonschafer.com/blog
Both emphasize positive discipline approaches and provide articles and tools for dealing with challenging behavior.
Positive Discipline at ICCC
In 2024, our teaching team began training in the positive discipline approach. We’re already seeing positive changes and look forward to confidently addressing a wide range of discipline challenges in our preschool.
Photo by Freepik (www.freepik.com)
Snezhana Daneva is a Director in ICCC since September 2010. After a diverse career at the British Council in Bulgaria and in the UK, she gained experience in teaching, marketing and client relations as well as cultural diplomacy and regional project management.
Snezhana has MA in English and American Studies from Sofia University, Management Certificate and Diploma from Open University, UK.